On octuber 21st 2008

Unwritten rule

in front of a simple messenger window there is a doubt do I? or dont I?

How does it come?, life turns out to be very complicated,
because we are afraid to say what we really think, because there is no certainty,
i know what i would like to have but people doesnt seem to realize it,
is hard to be in the dilemma whether to do something or not,
why should i complicate everything?? I keep looking for answers and nobody will answer,

whenever i need to cry, to scream to send everything away, ....how does it come?,
is it a law?... is always the same, nobody around or at least nobody willing to hear or to understand how i feel,
to help to face myself, because im tired of just being me against my own self,
i need help sometimes,
i am tired of always being the strongest, i cant believe it has always been like that. Life aint fair with me, thats for sure,
never is complete i always have a missing piece,
how can it be?, wether it is family, friends, college, church, relationships, dreams, goals, something is always missing, something is never there. Why do i hear always the same?,
i havent given enough to people,
i havent been the daughter i was supposed to be,
im not as good as a sister can be, i am not a reliable friend because its hard for me to trust,
i am not the student that im supposed to be,
i dont have the dreams i should,
i dont have neither a 25% of the things that i should be having,ill keep looking for can you believe it?, it is always like that.


Some might say i annoyed people as a person trying to find out even the latest info,
but nobody seems to care when im feeling really down,
like drowning in my ownself,
tearing apart myself so i can help someone else,
i´ve never have the time,
because nobody seems to be able to give me some time when i need it.

Besides the fact that i try to trust in people who doesnt seem to be interested in listening to me,

someday i wont be around,
someday ill take a vacation and will throw everything away,
someday ill finally feel free,
someday i will finally find out what of life is mine,
and who i cannot trust, because is tiring is really annoying and only stresses me out,
im sick of playing these games,
im completely tired of it,
i cannot hold it anymore, i will be better when i get to finally say

"GOODBYE, AND NEVER TELL ME NOTHING AGAIN UNTIL IM COMPLETELY STABLISHED IN EVERYWAY",

it is funny, how can i say that when i dont feel like that,
im sure about one thing only

THERE IS AN UNWRITTEN RULE, AND IS

IF YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO TALK TO SOMEONE, DONT EVEN DARE TO START A CONVERSATION.

UNDERSTOOD???